10 Things I Hate About You
by Been 17 For A While
Summary: Based on the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. All human of course. Normal pairings. BxE EmxR AxJ Real summary inside.
1. Bratwurst Anyone?

Background.

On his first day at a new school, Emmett falls for Rosalie Swan. However not only is she popular and beautiful but her father has forbidden her to date until her older sister does too. The problem is her sister, Bella, is negative, bad tempered and unfriendly and certainly undateable. Emmett seeks the services of school bad boy Edward who he arranges to be paid to date Bella and thus allow him to go out with Rosalie - but things never go smoothly when it comes to love.

Sound familiar? Well it should. It's my version of 10 Things I Hate About You but with everyone's favorite characters. I know it's not original but I thought I'd be something fun to do. Hopefully you guys like it.

DISCLAIMER: Twilight is in no way, shape, or form mine. It actually belongs to the goddess Stephenie Meyer. 10 Things I Hate About You isn't mine either. It was actually written by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kristen Smith.

AN- Just like the movie, my story jumps around a bit. I tried to stay as close to the movie as possible. If any of the dialogue doesn't make complete sense it's because that's how it was written in the script.

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10 Things I Hate About You

Parking her rundown car next to a couple of cookie-cutter-cute girls, Bella Swan glared at them and made a face. She hurried toward the front door of Padua High and approached another cookie-cutter-cute girl pasting an advertisement for prom on the wall. With a slight grin, in passing she proceeded to tear it down.

"Hey!" the girl cried as Bella marched down the hallway.

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Emmett McCarthy sat down in the office waiting for the guidance counselor to finish her work. Little does he know that Miss Perky is writing her pulp romance-novel-in-progress on her laptop.

"So, Emmett. Here you go," she said as she reviewed his transcript. "9 schools in 10 years, my, my…Army brat?"

"Yeah. My dad's a…"

"That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old school. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere." Miss Perky stated cutting Emmett off.

"Excuse me. Did you just say…Am I in the right office?" Emmett said while looking at Miss Perky as if she had three heads.

"Not anymore you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!"

"Okay. Thanks," he said while standing to leave. As he exited the office, Emmet passed a smug looking boy on his way in.

Miss Perky glanced down at her file as Edward sat down with a knowing grin. "Edward Cullen. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual." A disapproving glance left her face.

"Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, get the lights?" A charming smile graced his features.

"Oh very clever, kangaroo boy," she said glancing down at the file. "Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?" Miss Perky turned her head up to look up at him.

Chucking as he spoke, "I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst."

"Bratwurst?" she questioned while looking at his loins suspiciously. "Aren't we the optimist?" Edward looked up at her shocked. "Next time keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!" She turned her head down back to the laptop signaling that he should leave. "Bratwurst," she whispered to her self adding it to the sentence she was working on.

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Jasper pushed through the crowd in search for the new student. Finding him, he walks over. "Jasper Hale," he said sticking his hand out. "I'm supposed to show you around."

"Oh hi." A look of relief shot through his face. "Thank God!" he said while grabbing his hand for the handshake. "You know, normally they send down one of those audio/video geeks.

A blush swept across Jasper's face. "You know, I do. I know what you mean, yeah." He rambled off. Moments later an audio/video geek pushing a cart full of film equipment rolls alongside them.

"Hey Jasper, where should I put those slides?" The audio/video geek called.

"Jasper?!" he exclaimed brushing off the A/V kid. "So, uh," he said glancing down at the paper. "…Emmett. Here's the breakdown:" Jasper signaled for them to being their tour. "Over there you've got your basic beautiful people." Signaling towards the group. "Now listen. Unless they talk to you first, don't bother."

Cutting him off, Emmett looked at Jasper as if he were mad. "But wait. Is that your rule or theirs?"

"Watch." Jasper strutted towards one of the jocks. "Hey there," he said in attempt to start a conversation.

"Geek," the jock stated without ever glancing Jasper's way.

"See that?" Jasper said in an 'I told you so' manner causing the jock and his friends to glare at them as if offended. Jasper and Emmett continued their tour. "To the left we have the coffee kids."

"Whoa!" A kid yelled while spilling his coffee.

"That was Costa Rican, butthead!" Another kid yelled while slapping the kid on the head.

Jasper and Emmett exchanged looks. "Very edgy." Jasper continued. "Don't make any sudden moves around them." The pair step down and pass a table full of white boys with dreadlocks and Jamaican berets. "And these delusionals are the White Rasta. Uh, they're big Marly fans. They think they're black. Semi-political, but mostly…"

"Smoke a lot of weed?" Emmett said finishing his sentence.

"Yeah." Jasper chuckled. Continuing the tour, they approached a few kids dressed as urban cowboys. "These guys…"

"Wait. Wait. Let me guess. Cowboys?" Emmett said with a little laugh.

"Yeah but, the closest they've come to a cow is McDonald's." Jasper laughed at his own lame joke before continuing. "Hah hah…McDonalds!" Jasper and Emmett approached a group of studious looking teens who are bent over textbooks at a table. "These are your future MBAs. We're all Ivy League accepted. Yuppie greed is back, my friend." Jasper turned towards the group. "Hey guys. How ya doin'?"

One of them looked annoyed. "Eric." Eric Yorkie, leader of the academic geeks muttered.

"Yesterday I was their god." Jasper said while nodding to the group as they walked away.

"What happened?" Emmett asked.

"Eric Yorkie started a rumor that I…that I buy my Izods at an outlet mall."

"So they kicked you out?" Emmett couldn't believe that something so stupid would cause him to get kicked out.

"Hostile Takeover." Jasper corrected. "But don't worry. They'll pay. Now over here…" he said in attempt to drop the subject.

"Oh my god!" Emmett gasped as he saw a cream puff of a blonde girl walk by in slow motion. "What group is she in?"

"The 'don't even think about it' group. That's Rosalie Swan. A sophomore." Jasper said as he tried to regain Emmett's attention.

"I burn! I pine! I perish!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep. Pure." Jasper chuckled.

Rosalie and Jessica, her cute friend, continued on walking. "Yup, see, there's a difference between 'like' and 'love'. Because I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack.

"But I love my Sketchers." Jessica said.

"That's because you don't have a Prada backpack." Rosalie said all knowingly.

"Ohhh!" Jessica exclaimed enamored of Rosalie's wisdom.

"Listen. Forget her. Incredibly uptight father, and it's widely known fact that the Swan sister's aren't allowed to date." Jasper explained to his enamored friend.

"Uh huh…yeah." Emmett said dazed.

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Mr. Morgan stands before his senior English class. The bored seniors doodle and stare off into space. "Okay then. What did everyone think of The Sun Also Rises?" he asks. A girl raised her hand. He noded at her to speak.

"I loved it." The girl sighs before continuing. "It was sooo romantic."

"Romantic? Hemingway?! He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers." Bella Swan exclaimed as the other students rolled their eyes. From the back of the class, a slicked-back knock off of Slater from Saved by the Bell calls out.

"As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends?" Mike Newton said causing a few giggles to erupt from the class.

"Pipe down, Chachie." Mr. Morgan said while staring at Mike.

"I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time. What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte or Simone de Beauvoir?" Bella beings to rant once more.

Edward suddenly steps into the classroom, late. "What'd I miss?" he says as he stops just inside the doorway.

"The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education." Bella venomously spat out.

"Good." Edward said as he turned and left.

"Hey, hey!" Mr. Morgan shouted after Edward.

"Uh, Mr. Morgan. Is there any chance we could get Bella to take her Mydol before she comes to class?" Mike asked earning snickers from the class.

"Some day you're gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it." Mr. Morgan said causing Mike's smug look to be wiped off of his face. "And Bella. I want to thank you for your point of view." Bella smiles to her self as if her social indignation was justified. "I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle class suburban oppression. It must be tough." He said causing Bella to become bitter again. "But the next time you storm around the PTA crusading for better lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girls complain about, ask them why they can't buy a book written by a black man!" Mr. Morgan declared earning the cries from two of the White Rasta kids.

"That's right mon!" they chorused.

"Don't even get me started on you two!" The boys apologized and quickly shut up.

"Anything else?" Bella asked fuming.

"Yeah. Go to the office. You're pissing me off."

"What?! Mr. Morgan!" Bella exclaims.

"Later!" He raised his hand and waved at her. Bella got up in a tiff and stormed out of the classroom but not before hitting Mike in the face with her books.

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Sitting in front of her laptop, Miss Perky composed her sleezy novel. "Undulating with desire, Adrienne removes her crimson cape…" she whispered to herself. "…excitable, stiff and…" Frustrated, she called to her attendant. "Judith!" Judith suddenly appeared at the door. "What's another word for…engorged?"

"I'll look it up."

"Okay." She said as she returned to composing. Bella approached the office and overheard Miss Perky searching for the right word. "…swollen…turgid…"

"Tumescent?" Bella offered.

"Perfect!" she exclaimed. "So I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class. Again." Miss Perky said taking her eyes off the laptop.

"Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action." Bella retorted.

"The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway?" she said eyebrows raised. "By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested."

"I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls." Bella said causing Miss Perky to smile for a brief moment.

"The point is Bella…" she began serious once again. "People perceive you as somewhat…" she left off looking for the right word.

"Tempestuous?" Bella offered.

" 'Heinous bitch' is the term used most often." She said. "You might want to work on that. Thank you."

Bella swiftly rose from her chair. "As always, thank you for you excellent guidance." Bella said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'll let you get to Reginald's quivering member." She said leaving the office.

"Quivering member…I like that." Miss Perky said to herself before resuming her story.

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Well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.

Reviews are always welcome. Bad and Good ones. Just no flames. If you are to criticize, do it constructively. Thanks.

-Been 17 For A While


	2. The Plan

Chapter 2: The Plan

Hey guys! I'm SOOOOOOO happy with my reviewers. You almost made me cry with how nice you guys are. So that inspired me to write this chapter in the same day. Thanks to you guys. *Give's cookies to you*

I am a little upset though. I only got 7 reviews but my story has been read about 182 times or so. What's with that? Okay, Okay….rant done.

So if any of you guys were actually curious with my penname I decided I'd explain it. It's really quite simple actually. It comes from one of my favorite quotes in Twilight.

"How old are you?"  
"Seventeen," he answered promptly.  
"And how long have you been seventeen?"  
His lips twitched as he stared at the road. "A while,"

-It makes me giggle everytime I read it. So there. That's where my name comes from.-

Okay….enough with my ramblings…..ON WITH THE STORY!

DISCLAIMER: Twilight is in no way, shape, or form mine. It actually belongs to the goddess Stephenie Meyer. 10 Things I Hate About You isn't mine either. It was actually written by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kristen Smith.

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Mike and Tyler stood around the watching people. Tyler suddenly spotted Rosalie and Jessica. "Virgin alert," he muttered while elbowing Mike to get his attention.

"Looking good ladies." Mike called earning a smile from the two girls as they walked away.

"They're outta reach, even for you." Tyler chuckled.

"No one's out of reach for me." Mike declared as he pulled out his mirror to fix his hair.

Tyler looked at him as if he were insane. "You wanna put money on that?" he asked.

"Money I've got." Mike winked at a girl passing by causing her to drop her books. "This I'm going to do for fun."

Emmett and Jasper not too far away had also admired the beauties that were Rosalie and Jessica. Noticing Mike's attention, Emmett grabs Jasper's attention.

"Who's that guy?" Emmett asked while pointing to Mike.

"It's Mike Newton. He's a jerkoff." Jasper said. "And a model." He added as an afterthought.

"He's a model?" Emmett took a double look at the smug looking kid.

"A model." Jasper said confirming the answer. "Mostly regional stuff. But he's rumored to have a tube sock ad coming out." He said barely containing his laughter.

"Really?" Emmett asked.

"Really." Jasper said as he busted out into a fit of laughter.

Emmett turned towards Rosalie once more. "Man, look at her." He said with a bit of a sigh.

"Is she always so…vapid?" Jasper stated clearly not impressed.

"How can you say that? She's totally…"

"Conceited?" Jasper said cutting him off. Emmett turned towards him with a look of shock.

"What are you talking about? There's more to her than you think." Emmett said which caused Jasper to roll his eyes. "I mean, look…look at the way she smiles. And look at her eyes, man." He said gesturing towards Rosalie. "She's totally pure. I mean, you're missing what's there."

"No, Emmett. No." Jasper corrected. "What's there is a snotty little Princess wearing a strategically planned sun dress to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh…" he broke off noticing that Mike was making his way towards the girls. "…Mike, realize they want to." Jasper clasped a hand on Emmett's shoulder. "She, my friend, is what we'll spend the rest of our lives not having. Put her in the Spank Bank. Move on."

"No." Emmett said a bit childishly.

"Move on." Jasper urged him.

"No!" Emmett yelled causing Jasper to stand back. "You're wrong about her. I mean, uh, not about the spanking part. But the rest. You're wrong."

"Alright." Jasper began. "I'm wrong? You wanna take a shot? Be my guest. She's actually looking for a French tutor."

"Are you serious? That's perfect!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Do you speak French?" Jasper asked causing Emmett to come down from his happiness.

"Well no. But I will." Emmett declared.

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Bella and Alice, who was wearing quasi-Renaissance clothes, walked towards Bella's car as Mike pulled up beside them in his red sports car.

"Hey. Your little Rambo look is out, Bella. Didn't you read last month's Cosmo?" Mike snickered referring to Bella's camouflage shirt.

"Run along." Bella said barely noticing him. Bella and Alice continued walking, engrossed in conversation.

"I know you can be overwhelmed. You can be under whelmed. But can you ever just be whelmed?" Jessica asked Rosalie while walking.

"I think you can in Europe." She answered causing Jessica to look as if the question was over and done with.

Mike pulled up beside the walking girls. "Hey ladies. Would you sweet young things like a ride?" The girls glanced at each other and suddenly hopped in, climbing over his upholstery. "Careful on the leather." He warned.

Across the lot, Bella and Alice watched the scene from inside Bella's car.

"That's a charming new development." Alice said with sarcasm.

"It's disgusting." Bella retorted.

Meanwhile, Jasper mounted an old motorcycle equipped with a plastic basket on the handles. Jetting a bit out of control, he killed the engine right in front of Bella's car.

"Remove head from sphincter, then drive!" Bella yelled causing Jasper to quickly regain control and pull over to where Emmett had been watching.

"You all right?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Just a minor encounter with the shrew." Emmett's brow furrowed up in confusion. "Your girlfriend's sister." Jasper clarified.

A look of shock spread across his face. "What? That's Rosalie's sister?" he said incredulously.

"Mmm hmm. The mewling, rampalian wretch herself. Stay cool, bro." Jasper jetted off once again risking another near collision, and ended up flying off the road and sliding halfway down a grassy hill. Recovering his composure, he realized that half the school was watching from the top of the hill. Jasper raised his hands in the air and gave a victory yell which caused cheers to erupt from the crowd.

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Charlie Swan entered the house rifling through the mail. "Hello Isabella. Make anyone cry today?"

"Sadly, no. But it's only four-thirty." Bella answered causing Charlie to smile proudly.

"Hi Daddy." Rosalie said while kissing her father on the cheek.

"Hello, precious."

"And where've you been?" Bella asked looking up at Rosalie.

"Nowhere." Rosalie spat while giving Bella a sour look.

Charlie hadn't raised his eyes to the conversation for he was inspecting a letter. "What's this? It says Sarah Lawrence?" he asked as the letter was snatched out of his hands by a very excited Bella who ran across the room in a flurry of excitement.

Bella began to tear the letter open and read the contents silently. "I got in! I got in!" she shrieked.

"Uh, honey that's great. But isn't Sarah Lawrence on the other side of the country?" Charlie asked looking at Bella's glowing face.

"Thus the basis of its appeal." She answered flatly which caused a panicked expression to take over Charlie's face.

"Yeah." Charlie broke off. "I thought we decided you were gonna stay here and go to U Dub like me. Be a husky." He than proceeded to attempt to make some inspiring growling noises.

"No, you decided."

"Oh okay. So you just pick up and leave, is that it?" Charlie said, his voice getting gradually louder.

"Let's hope so." Rosalie said brimming at the very idea.

Bella glared at Rosalie before smiling sweetly. "Ask Rosalie who drove her home."

"Bella, don't change the…drove?" Charlie spun around to face Rosalie. "Who drove you home?" He demanded.

Rosalie glared at Bella before turning towards Charlie. "Now don't get upset, Daddy, but there's this boy…" She began.

"Who's a flaming imbecile." Bella interrupted.

"Please…" Charlie pleaded.

"And I think he might ask me…" Rosalie continued.

"Please. I think I know what he's going to ask you. And I think I know the answer: No. It's always no." Charlie lectured. "What are the house rules? #1: No dating till you graduate. #2: No dating until you graduate. That's it."

"Daddy, that's so unfair." Rosalie pleaded.

"Alright. You wanna know what's unfair?" Charlie began. "This is for you too." He said looking at Bella. "This morning I delivered a set of twins to

a 15 year old girl. Do you know what she said to me?"

"I'm a crack-whore who should have made my sleazy boyfriend wear a condom?" Rosalie spat causing Charlie to pause and think for a moment.

"Close. But no. She said: I should have listened to my father." He said.

"She did not." Rosalie stated disbelieving Charlie's story.

"Well, that's what she would've said if she wasn't so doped up." Charlie finished.

"Can we focus on me for a second please? I am the only girl in school who's not dating." Rosalie complained.

"Oh no you're not. Your sister doesn't date." Charlie retaliated.

"And I don't intend to." Bella added.

"And why is that again?" Charlie asked Bella looking rather pleased with himself.

"Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?" Bella answered.

"Where did you come from? Planet Loser?" Rosalie yelled in frustration.

"As opposed to planet "Look at me! Look at me!?" Bella said as she mocked Rosalie.

"Okay, here's how we solve this one. Old rule out. New rule: Rosalie can date..." Charlie said causing Rosalie to light up and Bella to look upset. "...when she does." He finished by pointing towards Bella.

"But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?" Rosalie cried in horror.

"Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that. And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated." Charlie said very pleased with himself. His beeper went off causing him to head for the door.

Bella headed for the stairs. "We'll talk about Sarah Lawrence later." He calls to Bella's retreating form.

"Fine." Bella said.

"Wait! Daddy!" Rosalie yelled in attempt to grab his attention.

"I gotta go." Charlie said as he left.

"Can't you find a sad enough retard to take you to the movies so I can have just one date?" Rosalie turned to look at Bella.

"I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out on the witty repartee of Mike "eat me" Newton." Bella retorted.

"You suck." Rosalie spat.

"You suck." Bella said imitating Rosalie.

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Emmett sat at the table prepping for the French lesson he had scheduled with Rosalie. She arrived and plopped down across from him.

"Can we make this quick? Roxanne, Korrine, and Andrew Barrett are having an incredibly horrendous public break- up on the quad. Again." Rosalie said looking up at Emmett.

"Oh, yeah, um, okay. I thought we'd start with pronunciation, if that's alright with you." Emmett suggested.

"Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part. Please." Rosalie said with a disgusted look upon her face.

"Well, there is an alternative." He said capturing her attention. "French food. We could eat some together. Saturday night?" Emmett asked hoping to sound casual.

"You're asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?" Rosalie cooed.

"Emmett. Listen. I know that your dad doesn't let you date. But I thought that if it was for French class it..."

"Oh, wait a minute. Edwin..." Rosalie began cutting him off.

"Emmett." He corrected.

"My dad just came up with a new rule. I can date when my sister does." She said causing Emmett's eyes to brighten.

"You're kidding! Well let me ask you, do you like sailing? 'Cause I read about this place that rents out boats..." Emmett began.

"A beaucoup problemo, Eugene. In case you haven't heard my sister's a particularly hideous breed of loser." Rosalie interrupted.

"Yeah yeah. I noticed she's a little anti-social. Why is that?" Emmett asked.

"Unsolved mystery. She used to be really popular, and then it was like...she got sick of it. Or something. There is a bet as to why, but I'm pretty sure she's just incapable of human interaction. Plus, she's a bitch." Rosalie added.

"Well yeah, but I'm sure, you know, that there's lots of guys who wouldn't mind going out with a...difficult woman. I mean, you know, people jump out of airplanes, ski off cliffs. It would be like extreme dating." He said in attempt to convince her.

"You think you could find someone that extreme?" Rosalie's eyes became hopeful.

"Yeah sure, why not?" He said feeling confident. Rosalie reached out and touched his arm.

"Would you do that, for me?"

"Oh yes! I mean, you know, I could look into it." Emmett answered.

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Don't forget to review my lovelies!

REMEMBER: The more review I get the more I'll want to pump out another chapter for you guys.

-Been 17 For A While-


	3. Conflicts

**Hey guys. So yeah, about updating last week, I'm sorry. I got caught up with graduation and then work and taking care of my sisters. The story became the last thing on my mind. I really will try and update A LOT more frequently than this. On the plus side though, I've outlined the entire story and I have each chapter outlined as well. **

**I totally forgot to thank **_**inlovewithagreeneyedangel**___**for being my very first reviewer. I totally appreciate things like that.**

**Okay, enough of my rambling……ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!**

_**DISCLAIMER: **__**Twilight**__** is in no way, shape, or form mine. It actually belongs to the goddess Stephenie Meyer. **__**10 Things I Hate About You**__** isn't mine either. It was actually written by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kristen Smith**_**. **_**Can we just stop rubbing it in already??**_

**Chapter 3-Conflicts**

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Jasper led Emmett down a set of concrete steps to a secret gathering of dating candidates for Bella. "Now, I have gathered a group of guys. Couldn't be more perfect. Padua's finest." Jasper said as they entered a dank room. Inside waited a motley crew of the most unlikely specimens one would expect. Emmett glared at Jasper.

"Hi. How ya doin'? Would any of you be interested in dating Bella Swan?" Emmett began in his most cheery voice. There began the interview. The first candidate simply laughed hysterically. Emmett shot Jasper a look. "Well, thanks for showing up." Emmett said as the strange boy left the room. The second candidate simply stared at Jasper and Emmett as if they had grown two heads. Not being able to bear the awkward silence, Emmett quickly dismissed the boy and moved onto the third. Upon turning to the third candidate, Emmett braced himself for the next response.

"Ho, I've never been that ripped." The boy said as he got up to leave.

Staring at the last potential candidate, Emmett asked the question once more. "Would you be interested in dating Bella Swan?"

"Maybe if we were the last 2 people alive, and there were no sheep... Are there sheep?" the boy said seriously. Emmett threw Jasper an exasperated look.

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Several dissection charts of frog anatomy hung on the walls. The class was busy dissecting frogs. Jasper and Emmett, naturally, were lab partners. Edward and his punk rock friend, Scurvy, were hacking away at their own specimen behind them.

"Did I, or did I not, tell you it was pointless? No one will go out with her." Jasper said as he made the incision into his frog. Behind them Edward pulled out a butterfly knife and impaled his frog violently with it. Emmett had noticed the display.

"Hey, what about him?" Emmett asked nodding his head back at Edward.

"Him? No no. Don't look at him, okay? He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just did a year in San Quentin." Jasper mumbled in attempt to not be overheard.

"Yeah, well, then at least he's horny." He said in attempt to make the conversation light.

"I'm serious, man, he's whacked. He sold his own liver on the black market for a new set of speakers." Jasper said as Edward took out a cigarette, lighting it on the Bunsen burner. Scurvy seized it quickly, snuffing it out causing Edward to fool around with the Bunsen burner instead.

Emmett turned towards Jasper. "He's our guy." He said.

Edward noticed them watching him causing Emmett and Jasper to turn away.

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A class full of boys and a few stray girls occupied the woodshop. The students nailed their pieces of wood as Emmett and Jasper entered. Emmett left behind a petrified Jasper to stroll up to Edward.

"Hi. How ya doin'? Listen, I..." Emmett began. Cutting him off, Edward brandished a loud power tool and drilled a hole in the middle of Emmett's beloved French book. "Okay…later then." Emmett continued.

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Outside the woodshop room, Jasper stared through the new window in Emmett's French book. Bringing the hole up to his eye, he peered through to look directly at Emmett. "How do we get him to date Bella?" He asked.

Emmett's gazed switched back and forth from Jasper and the mess that once was his French book. After a moment, Emmett responded. "I don't know. I mean, uh, we could pay him. But we don't have any money." He finished lamely.

"Yeah, well, what we need is a backer." Jasper responded.

"What's that?" Emmett asked instantly intrigued.

"Someone with money who's stupid." He answered. Realization dawned upon both of them. They both looked pensive.

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Mike and the bumbling buffoons he calls friends sat at a lunch table. Mike doodled a pair of boobs on a cafeteria tray with a magic marker as the group snickered. "Oh yeah!" He cheered, proudly gazing upon his masterpiece.

Jasper walked towards the table as casual as he could be. "Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up?" He said while sitting at the table. Mike's friends stared at him with their mouths agape. "'Cause you don't see many…" Jasper continued while reaching towards the Roll-Up. Suddenly Mike's friend grabbed Jasper's wrist stopping him. "…oh, okay. Yeah, alright." He mumbled withdrawing his hand which caused his wrist to be released.

"Are you lost?" Mike asked looking bored.

"No, actually, I just came by to chat." Jasper said as he attempted to play it off.

"We don't chat." Mike pointed out.

"Well, actually, I thought that I'd run an idea by you. Just to see if you're interested." Jasper continued in attempt to keep the conversation going.

"I'm not."

"Well, hear me out. Now..." Jasper began. Mike suddenly grabbed Jasper by the side of the head and proceeded to draw a penis on his cheek with the magic marker. Jasper continued undaunted. "...you want Rosalie, right? But she can't go out with you because her sister is this insane head case and no one will go out with her, right?"

"Does this conversation have a purpose?" Mike asked.

"What I think you need to do is, you need to hire guy who'll go out with her, someone who doesn't scare so easy." Jasper continued while pointing to Edward who was in the middle of spitting a stone from a piece of fruit at his tray.

"That guy? I heard he ate a live duck once." Mike questioned.

"Everything but the beak and the feet. Clearly he's a solid investment." Jasper concluded clearly smug with his salesmanship skills.

Turning towards Jasper, Mike asked, "What's in it for you?"

"Hey. I'm walkin' down the hall and say hello to you. You say hello to me."

"Yeah yeah. I get it. You're cool by association. I'll think about it." Mike said which caused Jasper to look extremely pleased and begin to bob his head. "We're done now." He said signaling for Jasper to leave.

"Yeah." Jasper confirmed as he rose from the table. He walked to the back of the cafeteria where Emmett was waiting anxiously.

"What are you doing getting him involved?" Emmett clearly asked upset with the thought of involving Mike.

"Relax now, relax. We let him pretend he's calling the shots. While he's setting things up, you have time with Rosalie." Jasper said as if the plan were obvious the entire time.

"That is a good idea." Emmett answered.

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Eric Yorkie gathered his club of future yuppies for a golf lesson. "Now remember guys, grip it, and rip it." Eric said as he hit the golf ball down into the stadium field where it was collected by a kid holding a basket of balls. The field was filled with students exercising. The women's soccer team was practicing. Mike made his way toward Edward, who was sitting with Scurvy and smoking.

"Hey, how ya doin'?" Mike asked as he came closer to Edward. Edward ignored him completely. "I had some great duck last night..." Mike began in attempt to break the ice.

"Do I know you?" Edward turned towards him annoyed.

"See that girl?" Mike said turning towards Bella playing on the soccer team.

"Yeah." He answered.

"That's Bella Swan. I want you to go out with her." Mike continued.

"Yeah sure, Sparky." Edward said with a chuckle which turned into a full laugh.

"Look. I can't take out her sister until Bella starts dating. You see, their dad's whacked out. He's got this rule where the girls..." Mike explained.

"That's a touching story. It really is. Not my problem." Edward said cutting Mike off.

"Would you be willing to make it your problem if I provide generous compensation?" Mike asked pulling out a wad of cash.

"You're going to pay me to take out some chick?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Mmm hmm." Mike answered nodding his head pleased with himself.

"How much?"

"Twenty bucks." Mike offered. Edward turned to have another look at Bella. She violently body checks another girl and knocks her down. Edward looked back at Mike with an eyebrow raised. "Fine. 30." Mike answered.

"Well let's think about this. We go to the movies. That's, uh, 15 bucks. We get popcorn. That's, uh, 53. And, uh, she'll want Raisonettes, right? So, uh, we're lookin' at 75 bucks." Edward totaled.

"This ain't a negotiation. Take it or leave it, trailer park." Mike snapped.

"50 bucks and we've got a deal, Fabio." Edward settled. Mike quickly handed him 50 dollars.

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Bella and the rest of the team completed their practice session. Mr. Chapin, the coach, called the girls in over. "Great practice, everybody." The girls broke apart.

Edward snuffed out a cigarette and approached Bella. "Hey there, girlie. How ya doin'?"

"Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself?" Bella answered bluntly.

"Now there's a way to get a guy's attention, huh?" Edward said with a slight chuckle.

"My mission in life." She said sarcastically as she stood there undaunted with her hand on her hip. "But obviously I've struck your fancy. So, see, it worked. The world makes sense again." Bella said as she began to walk away.

"Pick you up Friday, then." Edward said as he followed her.

"Oh, right. Friday. Uh huh." She said nodding her head as if she were reminded.

"The night I take you to places you've never been before." He said suavely.

"Like where? The 7-Eleven on Broadway? Do you even know my name, screwboy?" Bella snapped abruptly stopping.

"I know a lot more than you think." Edward answered.

"Doubtful. Very doubtful." She called as she walked away quickly leaving him standing there alone.

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Emmett and Jasper stood across the field watching the scene before them. Emmett turned towards Jasper with a look of defeat. "We are screwed." He said dejectedly.

"Hey, no, hey. I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat." Jasper reprimanded.

"We are screwed!" Emmett yelled with a fake smile as he pumped his arm into the air.

"There you go." Jasper said while patting Emmett on the back. Emmett and Jasper turned their attention to the golf team. As they watched, the coach got hit with a golf ball and fell to the ground.

"Run Eric!" One of the yuppies yelled. Eric stood there motionless with a super-cheese smile glued to his face. BEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE

**Well what did you guys think about it???? I finally had some Bella/Edward interaction. I was so happy to write that part. I really can't wait though for the next two or so chapters. That's when the fun begins.**

**I need your guys opinion. Should I continue the story strictly from the movie or should I be a bit more lenient. If I'm more lenient though it will take me a bit longer to update cause I'm going to want to make sure that it's perfect. So let me know what you guys think.**

**As always review, review, and review. I totally feed off of them. I would also love some constructive reviews to help me improve my writing. **

**Thanks guys.**


	4. I’m sure you’ve thought about me naked

**So a whole semester has passed and I haven't updated anything…..well I suck. Okay…I'm majorly sorry for the lack of attention. *begs on hands and knees for forgiveness* I did decide however that since I have a little time today that I'm writing today.**

**So I've re-read this finally and I had MAJOR errors in the story....hopefully it's all fixed now. It's a little hard to get this out to you with no beta...but alas is my life. Let me know if their are any more errors....I hate having errors in my writing.**

**Okay, enough of my rambling……ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!**

_**DISCLAIMER: **__**Twilight**__** is in no way, shape, or form mine. It actually belongs to the goddess Stephenie Meyer. **__**10 Things I Hate About You**__** isn't mine either. It was actually written by Karen McCullah Lutz and Kristen Smith**_**. **_**Can we just stop rubbing it in already??**_

**Chapter 4-I'm sure you've thought about me naked**

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Bella was washing her face in bathroom sink when Rosalie entered behind her.

"Have you ever considered a new look? I mean, seriously, you could have some definite potential buried under all this hostility." Rosalie said earning a pointed look from Bella.

"I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed." Bella retorted as she searched for a clean towel to dry her face in.

"Why don't you try being nice? People wouldn't know what to think." Rosalie said handing her the towel.

"You forget. I don't care what people think."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't." Bella said hinting that the conversation was over. "You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know."

"I happen to like being adored, thank you." She said with a smug look upon her face.

Bella began to glare at Rosalie when her eyes came across Rosalie's neck. "Where'd you get the pearls?"

"They're mom's" Rosalie replied looking fondly upon them.

Outraged, Bella stormed out of the bathroom. "And you've been what? Hiding them for 3 years?" She accused.

Not understanding the reason for Bella's anger Rosalie began to become angry herself. "No. Daddy found them in a drawer last week."

"So you're just gonna start wearing them now?"

"It's not like she's coming back to claim them. And besides, they look good on me."

With a malicious glare, Bella marched over to her bedroom door. "Trust me. They don't." She said before slamming the door on an outraged Rosalie.

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"Nice ride. Vintage fenders." Edward said leaning against Bella's front fender as she left the convenience store.

"Are you following me?" She said with an over exaggerated sigh.

"I was in the Laundromat. I saw your car. I came over to say hi." Edward said with a smile. Bella stared at him for a moment before deciding to answer.

"Hi." Bella made a reach towards the door. In a split second Edward slid over, blocking her way.

"Not a big talker, huh?" Not used to girls being so hard to talk to, Edward tried to make small talk.

"Depends on the topic. My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy." Bella replied sarcastically. Getting impatient, she pulled her arms across her chest in attempt to look menacing.

Noticing her stance, Edward stared at Bella intently for a moment. "You're not afraid of me, are you?" He said generally interested in her disinterest.

"Afraid of you? Why would I be afraid of you?

"Well, most people are." He said matter-of-fact.

"Well, I'm not," she said, challenging him with a hard glare.

"Well, maybe you're not afraid of me," He began before a devilish smile spread throughout his face. "But I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh?" Edward winked causing Bella to scoff.

"Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, Oh baby, oh baby." She said sarcastically while opening the door and pushing him out of the way. Bella hurried over to her car and hastily shut her door. As she began to pull out of the parking spot, Mike pulls up in his sports car and blocks her rear while parking, trapping her in. Mike got out and headed towards the stores. "What is it? Asshole day?" She muttered to herself. Poking her head out the window, Bella shouted, "Hey! Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Mike replied as he continued on into the store. Bella stared at him with a look of disbelief before backing up her car fast into Mike's sports car. Edward watched the entire scene unfold from inside the store window with a delighted grin as Mike rushed past him towards his car.

"You bitch!" he exclaimed.

"Whoops." Bella sarcastically replied with a feigned look of innocence.

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Charlie paced the house back and forth fuming. Bella looked up at him while sitting calmly on the couch.

"Whoops?! My insurance does not cover PMS." Charlie finally shouted after a silent five minutes of pacing.

"Well, then tell them I had a seizure."

"Is this about Sarah Lawrence? Are you punishing me because I want you to stay close to home?" he said exasperated as he plopped down on the couch.

"Aren't you punishing me because mom left?" Bella shot out.

"You think you could leave her out of this?"

"Fine. Then stop making my decisions for me." She exclaimed as she abruptly stood from the couch. Bella had the sudden urge to get away from him. She began to the other side of the room.

"I'm your father. That's my right." Charlie said as he looked up at her.

"So what I want doesn't matter?"

"You're eighteen. You don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want until you're forty-five. And if you get it, you'll be too old to use it."

"I want to go to an East Coast school! I want you to trust me to make my own choices. And I want you to stop trying to control my life just because you can't control yours." Bella shouted. She looked at her father and gave him a look of disbelief from his earlier statement.

"Oh yeah? Well you know what I want..." Charlie began. His beeper went off. Bringing it up to his eyes, he looked at it briefly before replacing it on his belt. "We'll continue this later."

"Can't wait," she said rolling her eyes. As Bella left the room, she was stopped suddenly by an extremely angry Rosalie with the phone gripped in her hand.

"Did you just maim Mike's car?"

"Yeah," Bella said, a small smile forming upon her face. "Looks like you're gonna have to take the bus."

"Has the fact that you're completely psycho to escape your attention?" Rosalie half screamed as Bella walked away. "Daddy!" she screamed.

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Edward shut his locker and began to turn towards his next class when he was met with Mike's angry face glaring at him.

"When I shell out fifty, I expect results." He said in attempt to be tough.

"Yeah, I'm on it." Edward said as he began to brush past Mike.

Grabbing onto his shirt, Mike pulled Edward back. "Watching the bitch violate my car doesn't count as a date." A smile formed on Edwards face as he recalled the damage she had caused. Edward grabbed Mike's wrist that had the hand that held his shirt causing Mike to open his hand suddenly. Stepping back Mike began once more. "If you don't get any, I don't get any. Let's go get some." Mike turned in the opposite direction and began to walk away.

"I just upped my price" Edward suddenly called out. Mike stopped suddenly and turned.

" What?"

"A hundred bucks a date. In advance." Edward clarified.

"Forget it."

"Forget her sister, then." He challenged. Mike thought for a moment before peeling another fifty out of his wallet.

"You better hope you're as smooth as you think you are, Cullen." He said as Edward took the money with a smile on his face.

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Jasper and Emmett entered shop class. They stood towards the back, eyeing up Edward.

"Go." Emmett nudged.

"No, you go." Jasper whispered to Emmett.

"I went before." He whined as Jasper pushed him towards Edward. Emmett made his way to where Edward was working.

"We know what you're trying to do, with Bella Swan." Emmett said to Edward.

Stopping what he was doing, Edward glanced up at Emmett. "Is that right? And what do you plan to do about it?"

"Help you out," he answered.

"Why's that?"

Jasper appeared suddenly by Emmett's side. "The situation is, my man Emmett here" he said gesturing towards Emmett. "Has a major jones for Rosalie Swan."

"What is it with this chick? She have beer flavored nipples?"

" Hey!" Emmett cried. Jasper glared at him to be quite.

"I think I speak correctly when I say that Emmett's love is pure. Purer than say – Mike Newton's." Jasper said.

"Look. I'm in on this for the cash. Newton can plow whoever he wants." Edward continued.

"Okay. There will be no plowing!" Emmett yelled.

" Edward, uh, Ed. Let me explain something you here. We set this whole thing up so Emmett can get the girl. Emmett. Mike's just a pawn." Jasper elaborated.

"So you two are gonna help me tame the wild beast?" Edward said looking at them in disbelief.

"We'll do some research. We'll find out what she likes. We are your guys." Jasper finished with a large grin.

"And he means that in a strictly non-prison-movie type of way." Emmett clarified.

"Let's start here. Now, Friday night. Eric Yorkie is having a party. It's the perfect opportunity." Jasper began.

"Opportunity for what?" Edward asked.

"For you to take out Bella." Jasper continued.

"I'll think about it." Edward said before he walked away leaving Jasper and Emmett grinning at each other.

"And for a little payback. This is gonna be some party." Jasper said turning towards Emmett with a party invitation. The party invitation advertised a 'wine and cheese' party. Soon enough the invitation read 'free beer,' 'don't call,' and 'just show up.' Eric's address ran across the bottom.

"Let's do this." Jasper said as he and Emmett both took a handful of the new fliers and dumped them down the school stairwell. Various students' hands reached out and grabbed them as they fell.

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Mike and Rosalie are by Mike's locker with the door wide open. Inside the locker he grabs two identical glamour model photos. The only difference was the color of the shirts; one black and the other white.

"Okay now, this is important. Which do you like better?" Mike asked. He held up the pictures, one in each hand. Rosalie looked at them both for a moment.

"Um, I think I like the white shirt better." She said causing Mike to nod his head thoughtfully.

"Yeah. It's more..." Mike trailed off in attempt to look for the appropriate word.

"Pensive?" Rosalie offered.

"Damn. I was going for thoughtful. So, you going to Eric Yorkie's thing on Friday night?"

"Yeah. I might." She said with a coy smile. Mike gave Rosalie his best flirtatious smile.

"Good, 'cause, you know, I'm not gonna bother if you won't be there." He said as the class bell rang. "See you there."

"Okay." She replied.

"Bye." He said as she walked away. Turning once more towards the mirror in his locker he winked at himself and then unhappily adjusted an out-of-place hair.

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Emmett and Rosalie were walking together alone. Emmett glanced towards Rosalie before attempting to make conversation.

"So have you heard about Eric Yorkie's party?"

"Yes. And I really, really, really wanna go, but I can't. Not unless my sister goes." She said with a pout.

"Yeah I know. I'm workin' on that. But so far she's not goin' for my guy." He stopped suddenly causing Rosalie to stop. "She's not a…"

"KD Lang fan? No. I found a picture of Jared Leto in her drawer once, so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies." Rosalie said as she began walking once more.

"Okay. So that's the kind of guy she likes? Pretty guys?"

"I don't know. All I've ever heard her say is that she'd die before dating a guy that smokes."

"Okay. All right. What else?" Emmett continued while committing that piece of information to memory.

"You're asking me to investigate the inner workings of my sister's twisted mind? I don't think so." Rosalie scoffed.

"Well nothing else has worked. I mean, we need to go behind enemy lines here." Emmett said continuing their pleasant walk.

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**So that's it kiddies. Nine pages of Twilight goodness. You'll all be happy to know that I might ACTUALLY start a regular updating schedule. I'll try to get Chapter Five out by next Friday but you guys might have to wait until the semester is over 'cause finals start soon. Love you guys majorly and I do promise I won't let the story get this neglected again…..it's becoming much to dear to me.**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!!!!**

**Been 17 For a While**


	5. Author's Note

So this isn't a chapter. I know I know…it's been almost two years…I highly doubt that anyone is actually reading this or even cares. I though that I needed to give an explanation on why I haven't written. I've had a lot of things happen to me in my personal life that made me not feel inspired to write. I have lost both of my grandfathers in the span of five months and I was extremely close to them. My grandmother was also diagnosed with cervical cancer. I will finish this story because it is in fact dear to me.

With that being said, I am now in a better place in my life which will make it much easier to get back into the flow of writing. Thank you to anyone who has left wonderful reviews, they make me smile. I would also like to thank anyone who has ever simply read my story, it makes me happy to know that someone has merely taken the time to simply read the words I have taken the time to write. Expect to hear from me soon.

XOXO-Been 17 for a while


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